This is My “Then” – I’m Gaining it All Back

Who is that? She looks familiar.

It’s been about a week and a half since I weighed in. I promised myself that I would lose 10 pounds by May 15th.

Right after the weigh in, I drove down Midlothian Turnpike and turned into Planet Fitness. I needed the gym in my life. I cut back on snacks. I even started packing my lunch. I have to say, I noticed a small difference. I thought “Yes! I am going to do this!”

Then this weekend came. And I slipped right back into my old habits.

I left church today and had a doughnut. Too tired to make a real dinner, so Bojangles was my answer. And I felt horrible. Couldn’t I make it just a little further? Not even two weeks and I was back to this?

And just like that, a text message came through. My aunt felt the need to go through old pictures and at that moment, she sent this old picture of me. I screamed. Was that really me?

Yes and no. It was me. Almost 400 pounds of me. But it is not the me that I am today. Back then, I wanted to die. Today, I want to live.

So today’s setback was just that, a setback. I am not off of my road. I am not giving up. I am not depressed. I am on the road to great health and great living.

Tonight, I will meal prep. I will be ready to tackle this week. And if I can’t tackle the whole week at once, then I will take it day by day.

Today, I gained perspective. I needed to see this picture. I needed to remember what life was like back then. ย Now that I know what was behind me, I am more determined than ever to forget that life that was behind me, and press toward the mark for the prize that is my future.

Ayoka Boyce is a published author (aka Nikki P. Serene), blogger, writing coach and Mentor. She is the founder of All Write RVA, a not for profit organization that promotes writing and literacy.

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