Winning and Losing

There’s a reason why I do not like playing the game of Solitaire. I do not take any joy of playing a game against myself and leave losing the game. That’s just my philosophy about it so if I think I’m going to lose I don’t play.

I don’t cheat when I play. I figure that if I cheat to win, the only person that I cheated is me. Which, even if I win the game, I lose

Eating right and exercising is starting to feel like I am playing solitaire. My opponent is myself. Some days I win and some days I lose.

This journey of Gaining it All Back has its difficulties. I guess it is because the person that is fighting me is the same person that I’m trying to help. The person that is fighting me wants this more than anything but does not stop fighting back against me.  And I am that person all in one.

I don’t want to admit how much I ‘cheat’ with snacking. My ‘win’ is a temporary satisfaction but it is an overall loss.

How do I separate from being an overcomer of this and yet still a slave to it?  How do I make the Ayoka who loses and the Ayoka who wins come together and become a victorious winner?

I have not come up with an answer, but for now, I will keep playing the game.  This one thing is for sure, even when I occasionally play Solitaire, I never give up until I win.

BTW – no weigh in today. I have been sick for two weeks and could not make it to the gym. Feeling better, but the gym has to be on hold until I get my full strength back.



Ayoka Boyce is a published author (aka Nikki P. Serene), blogger, writing coach and Mentor. She is the founder of All Write RVA, a not for profit organization that promotes writing and literacy.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s